T.C.

You guessed it - time for my Top Chef thoughts. These are pretty much the things that I would normally email my friend Amanda when we're going back and forth about how we felt about the episode. Now she gets to read them on the blog and the rest of you guys get to close the window when you realize it's another one of these dumb Top Chef posts.

They aren't going to get more Americans to "catch on" to eating snails if they display them being gross and crawling all over on the inside of cake covers. Disgusting.

I was loving that the quickfire loser had to go home. Good ole Top Chef has some of the best writing in Reality TV I think. Project Runway has some of the worst because most of the challenges are bo-ring.

Anyone else sitting there hoping Frenchie gets sent home on all these uber-French challenges? He was just soooo high on himself. I think it's really that scarf that kills me. I've spoken about it before, so you guys know how I feel about that thing.

Bacon Jam, I need to taste you immediately.

I love how they ask Kevin if he has a suit. It's true, he doesn't look like he would have one.

Ron is not psyched to be paired with Robin. He informs us has made frog legs 250 different ways. If so, why did you choose to cook it that gross way? "My partner is Robin because no one wanted to work with her." Bingo! So Ron isn't as dense as he seems. I love how Robin talks like a crazy person. Is she on meth?

Eww flirting between Jen and Mike. Pushing carts into one another like mature adults. And she was tugging on his sleeve when they were waiting for the judges. The next Hosea and Leah??

I loved Gail nodding at the French chef when he's speaking with a look of "What is he saying? God, I wish I knew French. I'm nodding...I'm nodding...he thinks I get it. Phew."

I immediately think they aren't going to send someone home since they already sent the quickfire loser home. That seems to have happened the past couple of seasons, but usually when everyone does a horrible job and they can't pick everyone to send home. But Bravo seems to have fooled me again!

Frenchie blatantly lies when speaking to the judges. I'm sure everyone noticed this. I wonder if he believed what he was saying or if he knew he was being a backstabber.

Why does Padma keep wearing those elbow bracelets? She is really skinny, but they even make her arms look chunky. I read that she gains 15 pounds during each season of Top Chef, but it seems a bit early for that.

Again winners of both quickfire and elimination challenges are no surprise. Boring! But maybe it's because the winners are actually that good this season. Is that possible?

Top Cheffage

So, like last week I won't give anything away about who wins and who gets kicked off. My thoughts might not make sense if you haven't seen the episode though...

Did anyone else notice that the guest judge talked a lot like Kevin Spacey. Or to me I kept thinking "He sounds like the guy from American Beauty," and I kept thinking his name was Kevin Kline. ha. Thank you, IMDB for clearing that one up.

So as for the quickfire challenge...Ron somehow managed to make a comparison between Bob Marley and potatoes. And then said something like "Don't worry, be happy." That guy needs to worry though because he is going to get kicked off soon.

Sexist guy (Michael? Mike? Something.) informed us that Risotto is a style of cooking because he knew all the viewers would think he was a weirdo for pretending to make potato risotto. Okay, fine, you got me. I didn't know risotto was a style of cooking, but you didn't have to make me feel all dumb about it.

Again, Bravo really edits things to make Ashley seem crazy for yelling at Pretty (whatever) about the whole water thing. Maybe they are trying to make her into the next Lisa, whom everyone hated. I don't really see that happening though.

Anyone else notice that ice cream never freezes in time on this show? It's a forgone conclusion. Oh great, someone is making ice cream. Now there will be drama about it not freezing.

Jennifer's voice is incredibly annoying. She talks like she has a fake accent or something. Reminds me of the trashy mom from Gone Baby Gone (played by Holly from The Office).

And as for the elimination challenge. Anyone that watches The Next Food Network Star (which you should!!) will find this challenge quite a bit similar to their military challenge this past season. Lame.

When she finds out about the challenge, Ashley says, "We could be cooking for 300 people using toaster ovens and matches." Um yeah, you'll be lucky if you have matches. As it turns out, the kitchen isn't that bad in my opinion. Better than cooking on the fire on the beach like that one season. Kevin is able to predict exactly what type of food will be in the kitchen, which makes me think Bravo is annoyed at him for being practical. I'm starting to like Kevin a lot, especially when he says things like "We [he and Eli] bond as fat kids." You make the jokes for me, Kevin.

Everyone makes a HUGE deal about serving chowder on a hot day. I cannot begin to count how many times it was brought up. They only mentioned the chili thing once though, even though those dishes seems pretty similar in my mind. Ron says he knows the troops love chowder, which makes no sense. You have no problem understanding his every word though because...he...speaks...so...slowly...that...you...only...miss...something...if...you...fall...asleep. I seem to take issue with the way a lot of people speak on the show.

Was this the first time on Top Chef that during a challenge there was an executive chef who was not responsible for any dishes and just managed? I found that interesting.

Do you think they made every contestant talk about how much they loved the military and the troops? Every 5 seconds there was a clip about how so and so has a second cousin in the military. Great story. Also, I particularly liked Padma dressing in a leopard print mini...for the troops of course!

I promised not to discuss the results, but I will just say that this season has been fairly predictable so far. The good people seem to always win and the bad people seem to always lose.

Graham Elliot - Foodiebia in Heaven

Yes, that's Anika and I standing in the kitchen of Graham Elliot. I'll get to that soon, but for now, let me start at the beginning of an amazing night. You can read Anika's account here.

Look at me, grinning already, when we were staring at the menus. That's the face I give when I see salmon on the menu.

I bet you've never had this at a restaurant before - unless you've been to Graham Elliot of course. They serve gourmet popcorn instead of bread and they keep it comin'. We had three baskets worth. One for each of us (Anika's hubby, Justin, was there too).

Here I am chowing down on the popcorn. The variety we had (they rotate it) was popcorn with truffle oil, Parmesan, and chives. This was by far the best popcorn I have ever had. I think I can safely claim it is better than any popcorn you've had too. So there.

The slogan/tag line/something of Graham Elliot is "fine dining redefined." This was Justin's lobster corn dog. He was pretty blown away by how good it was. This lobster corn dog is the perfect example of a lot of the food here - kind of a whimsical take on a mix of gourmet food and comfort food. Anika and I had a sweet corn bisque with corn nuts in it. I'm not sure I've even had corn nuts before, but I loved the crunch in the soup. They always flavor their soups with an infused marshmallow, and we had a garlic marshmallow in ours. You swirl the marshmallow around and it imparts the flavor throughout your soup. Genius.

Anika had been to Graham Elliot a few times already, and every time she's gone, Graham Elliot Bowles has been MIA. You might remember him from Top Chef Masters, where he was awesome and adorable. He also plays Sufjan Stevens on his website and fabulous music in the restaurant (Jeff Buckley, etc.). Clearly this is my kind of chef. Let's just say Anika didn't hide her disappointment when we were told GEB was gone again (subtlety is not her forte). Our waitress was so sweet and felt horrible about it! As a consolation prize she gave us an amazing extra dessert (sesame shortbread) AND invited us to tour the kitchen. Yes, please!

I was told this helpful fellow was responsible for my salmon.

Thank you, kind sir, for that deliciousness! I also really loved the potato pancake that came with it. I love potato pancakes. I need to start making them.

I would have sworn there were no women in the kitchen had this woman not ended up in a picture. When we walked back there the words that popped into my head were: small, clean, and organized. It was so small - at least half the size I imagined it. I guess they don't give you tours of the disgusting kitchens, but this one was immaculate and so orderly. Everyone was incredibly busy of course, but each item had its place and every person back there knew what was going on.

And they were all so friendly and gracious to us. It probably helped that Anika and I were beaming with excitement. I felt like a groupie or something.

Speaking of orderly, I loved all the labeled spices lined up. I need to do this in my kitchen. I also need to buy some fresher spices. Bad foodie.

Here is our tour guide, John, showing us how they made beer foam (for a specific dish). To his left are the garlic infused marshmallows. I asked someone how they became infused and during his explanation I realized "Duh. They make them from scratch, that helps infusing them." I was totally imagining them getting garlic flavor into Jet-Puffed marshmallows from Safeway. Pathetic.

Do we look giddy? Because we are giddy. I'm not sure if everyone reading this will understand why this was so exciting to me, but it was.

And this is the lovely little package we were sent home with - homemade caramel corn. I pretty much ate this the second we got home. Not that I needed dessert since I already had deconstructed strawberry shortcake and part of the sesame shortbread. That didn't stop me though!

Quick Thoughts on Top Chef

Here are my thoughts on Top Chef so far this season. And don't worry if you haven't seen the most recent episode - I don't reveal anything. Here is a cheat sheet with some of their names in case you don't remember.

Preeti...much looks like a boy.

Enough already with the "gay people can't get married" stuff. And I'm not talking to the chef, Ashley, who was speaking about it, but to Bravo for airing every single mention of it to make it seem like she was completely obsessed with the idea. They were definitely just trying to create drama.

I thought the twin thing was a little gimmicky, but it turns out they are both good chefs, so I forgive Bravo. I like to think of them as Thing 1 and Thing 2. Thing 1 being the clean-cut one. Thing 2 being the sunburned scruffy one.

Was Padma wearing a ribbon braided through her hair? Yes, she was. I really hope that is not coming back in style.

What is with that obnoxious sexist guy (aka Nickname Guy)?

Beard guy (Kevin) and blonde girl (Jennifer) are both going far.

I hate to say it, but most of the women are kinda horrible. Ugh.

Eve talks like a kindergarten teacher, and I cannot take her seriously.

Is there some reason the French guy has to wear that red scarf all the time? Reminds me of that scary story you heard as a kid called The Green Ribbon. The girl wears a green ribbon all the time and in the end someone undoes it (her husband perhaps) and her head falls off.

Ron, Robin, Laurine, and Jesse will all be kicked off within a matter of weeks. You have no idea who they are? Well, don't worry about learning their names, because it won't matter.

The whole $15,000 for winning a quickfire seems a bit weird. Isn't immunity enough? Also, why don't get get anything for winning an elimination challenge?

Did you notice how they didn't even show half the dishes in the quickfire so you already knew who wasn't winning or losing. Do they do that a lot and I don't notice?